Dear Ines,

Currently, I live in Africa it’s far from your beauty life but your presence and your blog inspires me a lot. Thank you for sharing your knowledge and the insight.

I’m just a one of your fans and your blog’s reader. I know you are busy, but it is very appreciated if you can provide me some thoughts on the following.

It’s a problem of my husband (Japanese)…1 year and 6 months have passed since I got married and I had twice of the domestic violence. It seems he cannot control himself once his temper reaches the peak. The violence is not a kind of kicking and punching. For example, we have the argument, then I get emotional and started crying, and in case I don’t stop arguing even though he said “stop”, he tries me to stop talking by his power, like putting me into the room by his force. His face and attitude become totally different person. It’s my fault that I didn’t stop talking even though he said enough. But I can’t understand why he becomes such a scary person with his anger. I think he had a something with his mother when he was small.

I’m 28 and he is 20 years older than me. Basically, I want to understand him and continue our relationship. But on the other hand, I doubt that this relationship is worth continuing…the couple without efficient conversation? That’s not my ideal.

Apologize for sending such a personal message, although I haven’t met you! However, your comments are greatly appreciated.

Thank you.

Best regards,
Lily

Stop The Violence, Lily leave now! Go back to Japan to your family or start somewhere new. Do not feel that you have to accept this situation. The situation will only get worse, trust me. I lived it, I know it, I was young, sad, isolated and confused… I left and I did the right choice because I have a happy life today that I would never have had.

Emotional abuse is often minimized, yet it can leave deep and lasting scars.

Statistics show that a woman is battered every 15 seconds in the United States alone by an intimate- someone who promised to love and cherish her. That’s two million women, each year, who are battered or abused by their partners. Even more frightening is that every day, four women lose their lives to violence perpetrated by a husband or boyfriend, an estimated 1/3 of the women who are abused. Women who are murdered are not the only ones who die. One in four women who commit suicide are the victims of Domestic Violence.

Noticing and acknowledging the warning signs and symptoms of domestic violence and abuse is the first step to ending it. No one should live in fear of the person they love.

But even though leaving an abusive relationship can be frightening, the risks of staying are too great. It might only get worst. The good news is that there are many resources available for abused and battered women, including hotlines you can call for advice; shelters where you can stay; even job training, legal services, and childcare. You deserve to live free of sadness and to live a happy life. You can make that happen by taking steps to protect yourself and reaching out for help. Don’t wait!

Check the internet for information while your husband is at work. And prepare to leave… but again prepare. Be smart and plan your exit from this polluted relationship. It will never get better and you deserve better.

Let me know how you are sometimes soon please Lily.

Nothing compares to you…. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUiTQvT0W_0

This is one of my favorite songs….

Big hug and please give some news. You are in my heart, warm and safe.